Noise

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned to whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, and abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who gives me strength.  - Philippians 4:11-13

During a recent car ride I placed two toys on Samuel's lap, and for the following hour he couldn't decide which toy he desired to play with more.  He would pick up one toy, usually for a minute at a time, only to be quickly distracted with want for the other toy on his lap.  As I watched his playful uncertainty I couldn't help but think of how my own life often bares a similar resemblance.

My sister Kasey and I talk frequently on the phone.  And over the years we have joked about our longing for what was on the other end.  I, in my quiet home, would hear her 4 littles ones squawking and squeaking while on the phone, and long for some noise.  Kasey, on the other hand, in the midst of a full house would hear a bit of silence on my end, and long for some quiet.  We would joke, but often we both knew, and would speak of fighting for, and learning contentment in our circumstances.

During the last year of me and Quintin's adoption waiting, we pleaded with the Lord often for presence... for an embracing of our "now", an embracing of His good and perfect plan for us in that moment or day.  Somedays the learning went well, and somedays it was an intense struggle; daydreaming for what we perceived was a "greener pasture".  

An experience at the supper table with family last week reminded me that my "greener pasture" had arrived... Samuel had joined our family, which meant I would have my "noise".  But the experience also quickly humbled me, reminding me of how finicky and fleshly I am.  As we sat at the table, we took turns sharing what we were thankful for.  The last to share was my mom, and her response was, "I am thankful for noise!".  Her house was overflowing with kids and grandkids; chaos and loudness filled the air.  Her response was not frustration or impatience but joy and thankfulness.  In that brief moment,  I realized I was now on the other side.  But I also realized something else.  There was a stirring of something different within me, a longing for quiet.  I realized a new learning had begun.

I am not so different from Samuel with his toys, unsure of which is the toy of choice... quiet or noise?  I am convinced that neither option is superior, nor which is a better choice is quite the point.  So what is the point... learning contentedness - excepting and even embracing what God has given on purpose.

I do enjoy quiet.  Even now Quintin and Samuel are sleeping as we recover from our trip to see family.  And it is nice!  But this is no longer my current normal.  It is now noise!

May I learn with the strength of God to be content whether with quiet or with noise.  And since noise is my new normal, may I along with my mother often and sincerely say, "I am thankful for noise!".

THANKFUL FOR MY FAMILY...

NOISE!!!