Resolve!

I rarely share my journal entries but thought this may serve as encouragement for those wrestling with resolutions for the New Year...

A new year always seems to be so exciting, because it symbolizes hope and possibilities, and a chance to start fresh. And who doesn't desire this? But honestly a new year can feel equally daunting, so many areas of my life that droop and could use a face lift. I could organize our home better, commit to a different diet and exercise plan, cook more meals from scratch, save more money, start clipping coupons, commit to a new hobby or activity, start a prayer group, read through the Bible, spend more 1-on-1 time with my friends, memorize more scripture, write more notes and send birthday cards on time, get to know more of our neighbors.... Ahhhhh! The list goes on and on! How do I start? Where do I begin?

By the end of New Year's day I found myself devastated instead of motivated. What was I doing? What was I pursuing? And most importantly, were these desires to start afresh from God or me? As I laid in bed with Quintin last night he gently pointed out the lies I was embracing and reminded me to cease striving and rest in the Gospel, in Christ.

So this morning as I began my time with Lord I followed my husband's instructions and found myself on page 20 of Milton Vincent's "A Gospel Primer", a well worn page. Mr. Vincent writes, "The Gospel encourages me to rest in my righteous standing with God, a standing which Christ Himself has accomplished and always maintains for me. I never have to do a moment's labor to gain or maintain my justified status before God! Freed from the burden of such a task, I now can put my energies into enjoying God, pursuing holiness, and ministering God's amazing grace to others. The Gospel reminds me that my righteous standing with God always holds firm regardless of my performance, because my standing is based solely on the work of Jesus and not mine. On my worst days of sin and failure, the Gospel encourages me with God's unrelenting grace toward me. On my best days of victory and usefulness, the Gospel keeps me relating to God solely on the basis of Jesus' righteousness and not mine." I needed to hear these words, and not only hear them but speak them to myself. Many of the areas I had considered to be more purposeful in, or resolve in, were good and could be beneficial. But to resolve apart from the Gospel is simply empty work without Christ!

As I thought about "resolve" I began to scan the scriptures for this word. What did God have to say about it? And then I landed on 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, "To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." According to this passage, Gospel centered resolve has a few ingredients; it's purposed for good, powered by God, for His glory, and by His grace! As I considered this, my list of possible resolves quickly began to shrink. I had only to ask myself if I was seeking God's glory or my own for most of my list to be crossed off.

Now I did not just toss my list aside. There were many things on the list, even commanded things, I hope and pray I learn and grown in during this upcoming year. But I am acknowledging my motivation to turn a new leaf in many of the areas was from me and not from Christ. For example, take diet and exercise. Who told me that I need to drop 10 pounds? Or that I should really work out more then I already am? Who told me this?? Well, it wasn't Christ, and therefore, "I do not resolve"!

So my list, has been reduced to but a few lines, which is so freeing! And what remains are two resolves, which I can with a clear conscience say are from and for God, and not myself.

Resolve #1: Daily Personal Prayer

I pray with my church, with my husband, with fellow-believers, in times of need or celebration, but my personal prayer life, the one seen only by God, is withering, much like that of an atrophying muscle. A muscle unlike a bone heals through movement and use. And this is my desire, I yearn to move my "prayer muscle" to ask, to seek, and to knock; to find myself climbing up into my Father's lap to be with Him, to listen to Him, and talk to Him. L. B. Cowman in "Streams In The Dessert" captures my struggle, and sin of neglect, in the area of prayer, as well as my desire to ascend to places undiscovered through it, "... We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb mountains. The steepness and ruggedness discourage us, so we stay in the mist of the valleys and never learn the mystery of the hills. We do not know what is lost by our self-indulgence, what glory awaits if we only have the courage to climb, or what blessings we will find if we only ascend the mountain of God!"

Resolve #2: Finish

Yesterday in church we listened to Pastor Don Chasteen give a heart penetrating and challenging message. As he spoke, he made a statement that not finishing is a sign of emotional and spiritual immaturity. The truth is, I often struggle to finish, not necessarily because I live a life of idleness or laziness but because of busyness. I take on too much, creating more projects, making new commitments, often failing to finish that which I start. So my desire is to continue working hard but participating in work that is from God. This summer I stopped reading multiple books at a time because I would never completely finish a book. Instead started reading one book at a time, making sure to complete one before I began another. I cut back and simplified. My desire isn't to compartmentalize my life by doing one thing at a time, but it is being okay with committing to less that I might be faithful to finish the work the Lord asks of me. I want to follow the example of my God, who is a God of completion!

May I through God's empowering resolve to be a women who prays daily and finishes in 2012, for the purpose of God's glory and according to His rich grace!